This is for anyone who want's to fucking listen for a minute
Sept 26, 2015 7:12:40 GMT
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Post by Jonny Fairplay on Sept 26, 2015 7:12:40 GMT
I'm just going to go for a minute, this isn't going to be funny, especially when I was done with this post AND I BACKED OUT OF THE PAGE GODDAMNIT.
This is a story about Jonny Fairplay's player. Kyle "Kotank" Noble, 22 year old skinny ass white kid who never really had any true friends. At the age of 15 he started playing ORG's in 2008 on Survivor Elimination Game (a now defunct site) under the name of bjorn. Who would've thought a 15 year old kid would be hated because all 15 year old kids think they're hot shit on the internet? Who knew? So I was never good at them. But it kept me occupied with the videogames I would play. So throughout high school he would game and do ORG's until college came around. He wasn't interested in survivor anymore and the ORG's ate up a lot of his time. So he focuses on doing the one thing now that he was in college that he wanted to do Since he saw the OGRE brothers play Halo all the way back in 2004 MLG during Saturday morning on the USA network. He wanted to play games competitively.
Well he starts with League of Legends and for 2 years he tries to get good, but he can't. He gets up there, but he isn't good enough. During this time his family is telling him that he can't do it and should just give up and focus on school, but he didn't, he wanted to try and get in. Well in Summer of 2014 he gives up on league and switches over to a Moba that just came into Alpha called "Heroes of the Storm" and very quickly becomes one of the top players in North America. For the next 8 months he would continue to improve and get into the pro scene, however the top teams didn't have a spot, so he had to sit on the sidelines and play in the amateur scene.
Well in February of this year, the first major tournament is announced called "Heroes of the Dorm" A collegiate tournament where College players could form teams from their School to win College tuition and play at a live venue in California on ESPN. So he gets a team together at ASU and it's made of very good players at the same level of what he's playing at. Over 880 teams sign up for this tournament and for 8 weeks we play trying to get to the final 4. To get a chance to play live... and well...
I made it, my team got to the final 4. Hell the broadcast made ME A FUCKING HIGHLIGHT REEL, a reel of all my plays during the tournament, hell the casters rode on my dick about my excellent play. For the first time, I'm being recognized, not even for how I play games, just recognized in general. I was the kid who stayed on the walls and never wanted to be seen, I didn't think I was interesting, I was a fucking dork who played games. Who cares about me? Well this is the first time and it's one of the best experiences and feelings that I've ever felt. And you know what? We make it to finals... WE'RE IN THE FINALS, WE'RE PLAYING ON PRIMETIME TELEVISION ON ESPN, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY THAT VIDEOGAMES ARE BEING SHOWN ON A MAJOR NEXTWORK IN PRIMETIME! WE'RE GOING TO WIN! WE WERE GOING TO WIN!
We lost
We lost the series 3-2 to UCBerkley... and within an hour and crying. The whole thing was over. You know the one thing that was always told to me by my family about doing this and being constantly bashed into my head was, "You're not good enough" and you know what? They were right, I was not good enough to make it happen. I JUUUUST wasn't good enough. A thing I wanted to do since I was a stupid 12 year old. and I wasn't fucking good enough.
I finish the semester, I become even more secluded from talking to anyone, my girlfriend leaves me after 18 months because she can't handle the state of mind I'm in (which totally helped the fucking situation), I moved back into my fathers house where I tried to become a pro... and it just wasn't in me. I wasn't in the right state of mind to do it. I would get mad at myself and my teammates over the littlest fucking things and would be overly aggressive in conversations to the point where they didn't want to play with me anymore. So they dropped me and went on to become a top 8 team in North America, just winning 1600 in a august tournament. While I'm... Here now...
It's not to say I hate being here, with it I refound my love of reality game shows by binge watching the first 14 big brother episodes during a night where I couldn't sleep, making me want to play an on ORG again after 5 years. So there is that.
It's just something that's been bothering me even after 5 months. I just feel an experience like that which should've been a dream for me turned into a nightmare just as quickly, and continues to this day. I also bring it up because Big Brother just ended and the guy I was rooting for since I started watching it won. A guy whose watched the show since he could remember and that his superfan mom SAID HE WOULDN'T MAKE IT TO JURY just lived the dream of winning the show that he's watched for so long. So it just sort of brought out these emotions in me again.
I mean I've been trying to get back on track, I was suppose to go out for the first time since my break up with my ex (so I think like 4 months now) with a girl that I've been really interested in since she interviewed me about this tournament. So we're suppose to go out tonight and I get a text saying that HER ROOMMATES PARENTS CAME INTO TOWN AND WANTED TO TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER.
So that might also be a reason why I decided to write this whole thing not once but TWICE.
I just need to know it's going to be ok. I've been told that I'm overreacting to this whole thing, hell I went to go to talk to lower income elementary school kids about my experience and that they can succeed to, and they told me that I was being to harsh on myself. FUCKING SEVEN YEAR OLDS WERE TELLING ME I WAS BEING TO HARSH ON MYSELF.
I've been all over the place in this post, so if you want a TLDR here it is
"Is JonnyFairplay ok?"
"no, no he's not, he's far from ok"
thanks for reading the words of an apathetic pussy who got depressed over a videogame, hope you enjoyed it.
This is a story about Jonny Fairplay's player. Kyle "Kotank" Noble, 22 year old skinny ass white kid who never really had any true friends. At the age of 15 he started playing ORG's in 2008 on Survivor Elimination Game (a now defunct site) under the name of bjorn. Who would've thought a 15 year old kid would be hated because all 15 year old kids think they're hot shit on the internet? Who knew? So I was never good at them. But it kept me occupied with the videogames I would play. So throughout high school he would game and do ORG's until college came around. He wasn't interested in survivor anymore and the ORG's ate up a lot of his time. So he focuses on doing the one thing now that he was in college that he wanted to do Since he saw the OGRE brothers play Halo all the way back in 2004 MLG during Saturday morning on the USA network. He wanted to play games competitively.
Well he starts with League of Legends and for 2 years he tries to get good, but he can't. He gets up there, but he isn't good enough. During this time his family is telling him that he can't do it and should just give up and focus on school, but he didn't, he wanted to try and get in. Well in Summer of 2014 he gives up on league and switches over to a Moba that just came into Alpha called "Heroes of the Storm" and very quickly becomes one of the top players in North America. For the next 8 months he would continue to improve and get into the pro scene, however the top teams didn't have a spot, so he had to sit on the sidelines and play in the amateur scene.
Well in February of this year, the first major tournament is announced called "Heroes of the Dorm" A collegiate tournament where College players could form teams from their School to win College tuition and play at a live venue in California on ESPN. So he gets a team together at ASU and it's made of very good players at the same level of what he's playing at. Over 880 teams sign up for this tournament and for 8 weeks we play trying to get to the final 4. To get a chance to play live... and well...
I made it, my team got to the final 4. Hell the broadcast made ME A FUCKING HIGHLIGHT REEL, a reel of all my plays during the tournament, hell the casters rode on my dick about my excellent play. For the first time, I'm being recognized, not even for how I play games, just recognized in general. I was the kid who stayed on the walls and never wanted to be seen, I didn't think I was interesting, I was a fucking dork who played games. Who cares about me? Well this is the first time and it's one of the best experiences and feelings that I've ever felt. And you know what? We make it to finals... WE'RE IN THE FINALS, WE'RE PLAYING ON PRIMETIME TELEVISION ON ESPN, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY THAT VIDEOGAMES ARE BEING SHOWN ON A MAJOR NEXTWORK IN PRIMETIME! WE'RE GOING TO WIN! WE WERE GOING TO WIN!
We lost
We lost the series 3-2 to UCBerkley... and within an hour and crying. The whole thing was over. You know the one thing that was always told to me by my family about doing this and being constantly bashed into my head was, "You're not good enough" and you know what? They were right, I was not good enough to make it happen. I JUUUUST wasn't good enough. A thing I wanted to do since I was a stupid 12 year old. and I wasn't fucking good enough.
I finish the semester, I become even more secluded from talking to anyone, my girlfriend leaves me after 18 months because she can't handle the state of mind I'm in (which totally helped the fucking situation), I moved back into my fathers house where I tried to become a pro... and it just wasn't in me. I wasn't in the right state of mind to do it. I would get mad at myself and my teammates over the littlest fucking things and would be overly aggressive in conversations to the point where they didn't want to play with me anymore. So they dropped me and went on to become a top 8 team in North America, just winning 1600 in a august tournament. While I'm... Here now...
It's not to say I hate being here, with it I refound my love of reality game shows by binge watching the first 14 big brother episodes during a night where I couldn't sleep, making me want to play an on ORG again after 5 years. So there is that.
It's just something that's been bothering me even after 5 months. I just feel an experience like that which should've been a dream for me turned into a nightmare just as quickly, and continues to this day. I also bring it up because Big Brother just ended and the guy I was rooting for since I started watching it won. A guy whose watched the show since he could remember and that his superfan mom SAID HE WOULDN'T MAKE IT TO JURY just lived the dream of winning the show that he's watched for so long. So it just sort of brought out these emotions in me again.
I mean I've been trying to get back on track, I was suppose to go out for the first time since my break up with my ex (so I think like 4 months now) with a girl that I've been really interested in since she interviewed me about this tournament. So we're suppose to go out tonight and I get a text saying that HER ROOMMATES PARENTS CAME INTO TOWN AND WANTED TO TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER.
So that might also be a reason why I decided to write this whole thing not once but TWICE.
I just need to know it's going to be ok. I've been told that I'm overreacting to this whole thing, hell I went to go to talk to lower income elementary school kids about my experience and that they can succeed to, and they told me that I was being to harsh on myself. FUCKING SEVEN YEAR OLDS WERE TELLING ME I WAS BEING TO HARSH ON MYSELF.
I've been all over the place in this post, so if you want a TLDR here it is
"Is JonnyFairplay ok?"
"no, no he's not, he's far from ok"
thanks for reading the words of an apathetic pussy who got depressed over a videogame, hope you enjoyed it.