Prologue: Lets do the time warp again!

[Jonny Fairplay]

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*INITIALIZING CRYOGENIC AWAKENING SEQUENCE*

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*CRYOGENIC AWAKENING SEQUENCE ACTIVATED*


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*CRYOGENIC AWAKENING COMPLETED, WELCOME BACK MR. FAIRPLAY*


Well Shit it's about time someone woke me up! I haven't had a good outlet to let out my inner demons... or are they more like troll dolls? I don't know but I feel like my demons have a lot of hair on their heads...

Lets see if this moron has me right, shall we? Lets see he's using comic sans as his font for me talking hu? Well he's got it right if wingdings isn't available! Oh well I'm sure he'll manage! By the way where the hell am I? The last thing I remember I was bludgeoned in the back of my head at an after party at a TGIF. What? I like that place! Their cheese sticks are delicious! So unless TGIF's now have cryolabs I should be somewhere else.








Oh well this is a comforting sight... What kind of revived British television bullshit is this? Well I mean I guess it could be worse, I could be locked in a room for 20 years and forced into having a sexual relationship with a daughter I never knew... but that story is for another time! Lets see if I can get out of here!

*MR. FAIRPLAY PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE CENTER OF THE ROOM*

Something tells me I don't have a choice do I?

*Correct*

A lot like my marriage AM I RIGHT GUYS!? EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRIGHT I'm coming... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  





WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?!

*MR. FAIRPLAY YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED TO PARTAKE IN ANOTHER GAME OF SURVIVOR. THIS MACHINE HAS THE CAPABILITY OF TAKING YOU TO ANY PLACE IN ANY TIME*

AWESOME! So instead of another boring ass island that is nothing but bare ass beaches and bare ass lands we can go somewhere cool! LIKE COLONIAL ERA, OR FEUDAL JAPAN, OR SPACE! I LOVE SPACE! SO MRS. TIME MACHINE WHERE ARE WE GOING!

*1990*

W...w...what

*BEGIN TIME MANIPULATION, GOOD LUCK MR. FAIRPLAY*

Oh go to hell, well lets hope the host is on top of it this go around and have a good game I guess...


*THE HOSTS WILL BE ON TOP OF IT*

There's two? Boy this really is the future! Well fuck it lets dance! ALLONS-Y OR WHATEVER!

[Host Kenny]

*takes a step to the left*

[Jonny Fairplay]

JESUS HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE? I mean hello there host man, how are ya doin? I expected to be greeted when we got there but whatever. So you had the technology to send us anywhere and you decide on fucking 1990. I think there's a term for that what is it called... OH THAT'S RIGHT! AN UNDERACHIEVER!


*Sigh* Well at least there's two of you so maybe the other one will hijack this and send us to the year 2990. What do you think will be there? I think cyborg ninjas. God I want there to be cyborg ninjas. Can we go to 2990 and see if they have cyborg ninjas? 


I'll take your silence as a maybe, but I guess your intrude into this thing means you wanna ask me the usual (In a Probst voice) "How are you going to play this game Jonny Fairplay?" "Are you going to play dirty?" "Are you going to fake another death?"


Well fuck that I say! Ask me some hardball ones! Like, "Do I like pogs?" "Was Nick the sexiest backstreet boy?" and "Why does Jurassic Park still hold up?" You know, the real juicy answers.

So ask away! Come delve into the madness that is the Fairplay!

[PW Colleen]

This is the 90s. Glad you're embracing the Comic Sans MS.

[Jonny Fairplay]

What are you talking about? This is how I normally talk...

[PW Colleen]

[Jonny Fairplay]

  

[Host Kenny]

[Jonny Fairplay]