Round One | MUGGED IN DETROIT

[rector]

If this isn't the episode title, we're done Kenny. Seriously. 

Quick Break of character for introductions. 

My name is Matt and I am terrible at ORGs  

I’ve played as horrendous first boot Danger Dave in 39 Days 

I’ve played as horrendous forced hero Sash In Survivor Pure 3 

I’ve played as horrendous goat Peter in Survivor Warriors 6 

And Now I’m Here to get funky with you crazy muthafuckas. But I’ll be horrendous. 

Anyway, on with it. 

    Hey Hey Motherfuckas 

My name is Sean and I am the winner of Survivor Decades: Nineties.  

We are O-FFicially in round fucking one (took a while though) and I am, well, I’m psyched. This cast is if anything else, funny as hell, and this is gonna be a good one. Since barely anything done gone down, Imma just write a lil bit about some folks, yeah? 

THA MOTHAFUCKING BOAR. (I AM GOING TO THE FINAL TWO WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING BOAR)

Okay. 

Now on to my tribe. 

Davie is a rad chap, an oversea brother, and I’m just about sure him and I and greg are gonna run this tribe right to hell.  

Eliza is one crazy-ass motherfucker lemme tell you. Girl comes to me saying this tribe is shit lets vote out erik, Im like heh heh heh let’s calm our shit, yeah? Now she says we got an easy first tribal just cuz Lillian done messed up a bit on the challenge. Holy shit girl is playing waayyyyy too hard. Ride the vibes, honey 

Gregory Buis is one strange dude. I am PW’ing this brother in 2 games right now, and he’s 15, and he signs up for every fuckin thing with the same aim. This is alias duuuude. Should I say, DORLM. Sides that tho, me and him hit this shit off real nice, ally fo shure. 

Erik what the fuck you be? You say its your first ORG. You try to form an alliance with me and Mr. Dave. You got my knickers all twisted, brother! I just so confused. By the way, Eliza is gunnin the fuck after you, dude, run while ya can. 

LILLIAN YOU CRAZY LADY why you mess up? Eliza a little too mad but yeah. I think we gonna be friends, I mean I sure do hope so, you’re HOT. 

Gah that’s it. Just shootin the shit for now. 

NOPE WAIT THERE MAY BE AN ALLIANCE OF FUNNY PEOPLE FORMING. 

ORGANIZATION ISN’T MY STRONG SUIT GET USED TO THIS SHIT 

Uhh, black joke. 

Bye. 




HI COLLEEN LETS GET MARRIED

[rector]

Gregory Jumped The Shit and made a group chat of The Funny People


Me, Him, Boar, Lil, and Davie.


That's four people on my tribe. If me and Davie can have our little side shit with ERK, than we hit smooth sailing, and ELIZA GOES AWAY. 


I AM PRETTY MUCH A WINNERS LOCK RIGHT NOW COLLEEN TIME TO GET MARRIED

[rector]

Greg Buis 

Am I going overboard atm 

I feel like I'm strategizing too much

[rector]

I KNOW HOW TO PHOTOSHOP

[rector]

Token Black Scores an Idol Mothafuckas

[Host Kenny]

Isnt that a ballin idol? Also didnt you love the courage pun thing? Plzzz

[rector]

Mothafucka you number 1 in my heart, kenneth

[rector]

Motherfuckin Eliza - Figure out the idol clue, tell everyone, goddamn manhunt, what the fuck am i supposed to do.

[rector]

I'm totally not gonna say a word about having the idol, even though it's a manhunt. Heh heh. People are going crazy. I don't think they're sure I have it yeetttttt. There is thought it may be greg. Or eliza fucking with everybody. I don't care if this blows up my game. It's goddamn fun thinking everybody is losing their shit about this. I'm so screwed when it is realized though heh heh.

[rector]

Erik Reichenbach  

also, don't forget to post the answer to your tribal council question.




WHAT THE FUCK YOU SAY TO ME? 

[rector]

Well...Shit. Shit Shit Shit. This idol has sorta been more a curse than a blessing. Does a group chat exists of the tribe discussing my idol posession? Probably,